"
It wasn't long & I learned that I was pregnant again & made a doctor's appointment. After the testing, I was told it was all in my head, that I really wasn't pregnant. They said that in my trauma my mind CONCOCTED the pregnancy, to fill the void of our first son's death & to help ease the pain of loss & overcome the grief. That was 3 months into the term. What could I do? Get further upset by continuing "the battle" with them? I ended up setting another appointment the next month & THAT time they agreed, I was pregnant.So THEN I was taken off the meds I was on.After the second son was born. I wasn't put back on my meds. My mom seemed to believe that might be where I would have trouble. I was thrilled the birth went smoothly & everything was fine. I got up from my maternity bed & got my make-up on. I wanted to look pretty. I was happy & wanted it to show. On the day I was to be discharged (the 3rd day) my doctor visited me to tell me to tell the nursery staff to keep the baby out of my room on a FOURTH day he wanted me to stay. That was ODD but I agreed. When they wheeled the baby in I told the nurse what I had been told to say. She acted shocked. I later figured out that Dr. Stockwood hadn't written this order! There was nothing. My husband came as often as he could & one night before Visiting Hours were over & they announced it on the PA, he decided that he wanted a cup of coffee before he started home- a long walk clear across town in bitter sub-zero temps. (The night our son was born it was -22F.) He went down to the cafeteria to get coffee, saying he'd be back. To avoid further trouble before I got out of there the next day, I hung his coat & things on the doorknob & shut my door, knowing he would figure it out because they HAD announced visiting hours would end in 5 minutes and I knew he heard it. (There really was no NOT hearing it)There had been another incident before that. They kept wanting to dope me up & I kept trying to tell them NO NARCOTICS. This "offended" them? What about how offended I WAS!?!  So placing my husband's coat/hat on the doorknob signaled to them that WE WERE HAVING "MARITAL PROBLEMS" & they called up a psychiatrist to come have a talk with me. Meanwhile, my husband returned with his coffee & noticed I had someone sitting with me at the little table, through the open door. He stood silently beside the door listening.I don't recall her name but she was of Ukrainian decent & she smelled like she just left a cocktail party. I mentioned it to her. She didn't like that... just after something that, was said, and my husband decided to join us. He walked in and I just wish I could remember what exactly was said between the 2 of them. (I believe it was then he asked to not talk to me the way she was, not to use the tone she was using.) He was starting to catch onto the harassment & mistreatment I was subjected to. He spoke to her, in her surprise. Mr doctor at that time was Dr.
 Nieuwenhuizen, MD from Columbia, Mo. My mom decided to call & ask him to call in the script for my meds. Something was brewing & she could feel it. I'm pretty sure that was  when Julie Hardy was called in on it.
One of the staff made a Hotline call on us. This set the ball rolling. I was told that instead of going home on release, that I would be going instead, to Boone County Hospital. I contacted my mother & spouse & they came as soon as they could. We were all trying very hard to understand this. What I had told the nurse that brought our baby into my room on that 4th day & I was told to tell her to keep him in the nursery to feed and change him (I needed rest badly - they were playing me, trying to get reactions that I kept from them.) had been misinterpreted into "(Veronica said) I DON'T WANT HIM - I DON'T NEED HIM." THIS WAS NOT WHAT I SAID! So, with THAT, they arranged me a 30 day period of observation. It WAS going to happen that the Sheriff come to pick me up to drive me there & my son be placed in the care of my mom. But mom called the Judge & talked to him so that she could deliver me there instead. This was all taking a very bad toll on me. John as well. So my mom did as she was told she could do. The Judge had no reason to distrust my mom & told the staff so. It was all very cold, very painful, very strange & disheartening, not to mention stressful, painful & embarrassing. We were dumbfounded at the lack of understanding & empathy coming from these healthcare specialists! I was overwhelmed with grief all over again! Would this nightmare ever end?
 
   

 We met with Julie Hardy at my parent's house. Things started out fine but by the end of it, I was in tears (again).She pulled paperwork out & demanded we sign it. There was no other way.It HAD to be signed! That was all! I thought at the time: WHAT A WICKED PERSON!WHAT A STRANGE MESS!The demand was for John & I to be force-separated for 2 weeks & our infant second son & I would stay at my parent's house while my husband stayed all the way across town. THIS WAS A HUGE INCONVENIENCE. We again had NO CAR & John was going to have to walk back & forth to visit us PLUS whatever job he had at the time! THEY WERE TRYING TO KILL US. IT WAS WORKING.The supposed point of it was for my mom to show me how to do things they didn't believe I did.Or believed I couldn't do. We did the 2 weeks forced separation. We refer to it as Julie Hardy's SLEEP EXPERIMENT! it involved plenty of sleepless nights...worry, stress... Several years later, we met a guy who was a former CIA agent. He invited us to his house to a dinner party. He realized we had no car so he offered to pick-us-up when he came to town for supplies. We were always telling some of the very same people DON had with us as mutual acquaintances, what we were dragged through. It was like a never-ending stream of bad luck. He heard us mention Julie before & he told us she was going to be there at that party that night. My thought was OH JOY THIS IS GOING TO BE INTERESTING. She later phoned & opted out. I'm pretty sure she had learned that WE would be there.THAT was the real reason and she didn't want to face us. Several years later my mom got a letter that stated I needed to meet with Julie for an appointment. My mom knew of the bad feelings those people gave me so I got her to go with me. When we arrived, I walked in & Julie was on the phone. I smiled (despite the past issues, trying to be polite & focus on THE NOW) She turned her back on me & continued on with her phone call, ignoring me. This really was rude. Mom sat beside me in the waiting room (or reception area) as I filled out a form I was given to fill out. It dawned on me that there was a lot of wasted space on the form so I began to fill it up.I wrote about the past issues & how it never did seem fair, even after considerable consideration! I wrote it in every place I could on the top page of my form. I went into my appointment & figured that was all. I actually forgot all about it. Soon after, there was a phone-call. It was about how I missed that appointment I was supposed to be at! I went into momentary shock again & insisted there was a big mistake, that I HAD been there! I ended up putting my mom on the phone to defend me! OF COURSE, I WAS THERE, MOM had driven me there herself & waited for me inside! WHAT was Julie trying to pull is what we wondered. Then I remembered the FORM & what had been written. It all made complete sense then! THE FORM I filled out had obviously been DESTROYED to keep what I said on it, OUT of it! A COVER-UP & destruction of documents! OH GREAT... Document Destruction or maybe she just took it home & got rid of it somehow... either way, my MOM told the caller that we had done what we were told to do & they could just FORGET her bringing me back because she was THERE WITH ME & she didn't know what was going ON or what someone was trying to PULL but she didn't like it. It seems so much (now) like what they were doing was some sort of multiple STING on me of some kind. I used to write a lot of Letters to the Editor (of the local paper there) & they got published... maybe that's the catalyst.
 
I believe a lot of these attacks on me & how they were layered onto me were done so in order to confuse me & an attempt to discredit me & cause me to look like a "nut-case" so no one would believe me. They were already disbelieving me. Their disbelief of our first son being ill in some way that they disregarded shows that!
 
Part of this also could have arisen from my husband having been an LDS priest before he left the church & joined the Baptist Church where I grew up. They have a reputation for "shunning" & from what I have read & have seen on TV, it can be really, bad. Once, I had the impression that his former church-home expected that I would join THEIR church.
 
Either that or they are GAMEY in a lot of their affairs.I gamed back.


 
I can not account for whatever feelings that my husband John was having about all this at the time. I am having a hard enough time maintaining my own 
 
After this section of mess more mess came at us.
I was clueless about what either John or myself were doing or had done to bring all this on. Still to this day, all I can really do is GUESS. 
 
We moved from the little house that my mom bought us into the low-income housing projects. We were assigned some sort of "home-aide" help who I was TOLD was to teach me how to can food into jars. she never did.
 
I was sent home with my son on a heart monitor. They prescribed me Chlorpromazine (50 mgs I believe) THEY SET ME UP TO FAIL! 
John had worked and worried himself into a heart attack & had to be admitted into Bothwell. My Uncle John was in ICU at the same time. My parents had gone to Joplin Mo for a Letter Carrier's Union convention. The hospital called me needing to know a contact number for my mom, which I didn't have. They wanted to do a biopsy on my uncle to try to see what was wrong. I gave them permission. This saved him a few days until my parents returned so mom could visit her brother a little before he died. She later thanked me for choosing to allow them to do the surgery. I was running myself ragged going back & forth to the hospital from home with our baby.At least we had a car at that point! One night after I took my night pills & had begun to sleep, I could hear the baby monitor alarm sound-off. This was the worst moments EVER in my entire life. I kept telling myself to get up & go check our son. The meds had been busy enough to get me to the point that I was one moment off from much-needed sleep. I got myself up on my feet & crossed the hall into our son's bedroom, turned on the light & looked at him in his crib. HE WAS BLUE! 
 We ALL had been recertified at CPR but in my stupor, I couldn't do it. I was in full-panic mode but silently & mainly it seemed like in slow-motion. I picked my son up & gently rattled him. I was so super scared & I realized that if he died, no one was going to get the blame but ME. He began to cry- we both cried. I almost had a SECOND little dead baby & THIS TIME they would probably put me in PRISON. I had such a tight emotional bond with my baby - there was NO WAY I was going to settle for another funeral. He didn't end up with Shaken Baby Syndrome either, which is another huge relief as well as a miracle. As I stated, I didn't shake him very hard - I was hope-beyond hope + prayers to just wake him up & I did. I'm not even sure if I logged that incident! I may have been too upset to think much about it! WHY DID THESE PROFESSIONALS SEND A BABY ON A MONITOR HOME WITH A MOM ON CHLORPROMAZINE ?!?!? THAT IS ANOTHER HUGE QUESTION! WHO THOUGHT-UP SUCH A STUPID THING?!?! I will always believe, in my heart, that they were trying to set me up for a disaster! WHAT ELSE could it be? What kind of MONSTERS would do these things!?! "